Came across a blog, that gives expression to some well thought through stuff about being Gay and a Christian. You might want to look it up sometime.
www.alifeinshadesofgrey.blogspot.com
His letter to a former school friend is both touching and helpful.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Coming out ahead
Here is an extract from an excellent address given by Dr. Ralph Blair
at the Eastern and Western connECtions 2003 The States. It is an annual conference hosted by Evangelicals concerned. It is an attitude not often expressed and is worth thinking about and commenting on......What do you think?
Malcolm Muggeridge...... was the consummate insider who was ever the outsider. In his memoir, Chronicles of Wasted Time, he tells of a recurring scene in his mind, "both sleeping and waking." He describes "standing in the wings of a theatre waiting for my cue to go on stage. As I stand there I can hear the play proceeding, and suddenly it dawns on me that the lines I have learnt are not in this play at all, but belong to a quite different one. Panic seizes me; I wonder frenziedly what I should do. Then I get my cue. Stumbling, falling over the unfamiliar scenery, I make my way on to the stage, and there look for guidance to the prompter, whose head I can just see rising out of the floor-boards. Alas, he only signals helplessly to me, and I realize that of course his script is different from mine. I begin to speak my lines, but they are incomprehensible to the other actors and abhorrent to the audience, who begin to hiss and shout: ‘Get off the stage!’ ‘Let the play go on!’ ‘You’re interrupting!’ I am paralyzed and can think of nothing to do but to go on standing there and speaking my lines that don’t fit. The only lines I know."
Ever feel like that? Miscast – gay in play that’s straight, Christian in a play that’s pagan. A fruit out of season. A fish out of water. With St. Mugg we might counter: "Only dead fish swim with the stream."
Still, might there not be a "coming out" onto the stage of the everyday world to a better outcome? Can we come out ahead instead? Yes, most definitely. And no, certainly not.
A popular endorsement of "coming out" claims that "Coming out reduces isolation and alienation and allows for increased support from other GLBT people and allows you to live a full life." Well, not necessarily. And in the deepest sense, of course: Absolutely not.
For serious Christians who happen to be differently oriented sexually, coming out can increase isolation and alienation. Coming out can disallow for support. And besides, as any serious Christian should know, merely "coming out" as lesbigayt is not what "allows you to live a full life." What allows you to live a full life is your coming out into Christ.
Evangelical Christians whose sexual orientation is not what the Evangelical establishment approves and whose Christian orientation is not what the lesbigayt establishment approves are in for a shock if they buy into such promises uncritically. People of dual identity must be, in Jesus’s words, "wise as snakes and harmless as doves" to cope in homophobic Evangelicaland and the Christophobic Emerald City. "Coming out" as gay to evangelical family and friends and "coming out" as evangelical to gay friends is fraught with isolating and alienating misunderstanding and hostility. To "come out" as "the other" in either venue is very likely to evoke: "Get out!"
I’d like us to get out of the tired lesbigayt rhetoric on "coming out" and get into coming out ahead. Coming out ahead is our daily Christian calling – no matter what may be our sexual identity.
at the Eastern and Western connECtions 2003 The States. It is an annual conference hosted by Evangelicals concerned. It is an attitude not often expressed and is worth thinking about and commenting on......What do you think?
Malcolm Muggeridge...... was the consummate insider who was ever the outsider. In his memoir, Chronicles of Wasted Time, he tells of a recurring scene in his mind, "both sleeping and waking." He describes "standing in the wings of a theatre waiting for my cue to go on stage. As I stand there I can hear the play proceeding, and suddenly it dawns on me that the lines I have learnt are not in this play at all, but belong to a quite different one. Panic seizes me; I wonder frenziedly what I should do. Then I get my cue. Stumbling, falling over the unfamiliar scenery, I make my way on to the stage, and there look for guidance to the prompter, whose head I can just see rising out of the floor-boards. Alas, he only signals helplessly to me, and I realize that of course his script is different from mine. I begin to speak my lines, but they are incomprehensible to the other actors and abhorrent to the audience, who begin to hiss and shout: ‘Get off the stage!’ ‘Let the play go on!’ ‘You’re interrupting!’ I am paralyzed and can think of nothing to do but to go on standing there and speaking my lines that don’t fit. The only lines I know."
Ever feel like that? Miscast – gay in play that’s straight, Christian in a play that’s pagan. A fruit out of season. A fish out of water. With St. Mugg we might counter: "Only dead fish swim with the stream."
Still, might there not be a "coming out" onto the stage of the everyday world to a better outcome? Can we come out ahead instead? Yes, most definitely. And no, certainly not.
A popular endorsement of "coming out" claims that "Coming out reduces isolation and alienation and allows for increased support from other GLBT people and allows you to live a full life." Well, not necessarily. And in the deepest sense, of course: Absolutely not.
For serious Christians who happen to be differently oriented sexually, coming out can increase isolation and alienation. Coming out can disallow for support. And besides, as any serious Christian should know, merely "coming out" as lesbigayt is not what "allows you to live a full life." What allows you to live a full life is your coming out into Christ.
Evangelical Christians whose sexual orientation is not what the Evangelical establishment approves and whose Christian orientation is not what the lesbigayt establishment approves are in for a shock if they buy into such promises uncritically. People of dual identity must be, in Jesus’s words, "wise as snakes and harmless as doves" to cope in homophobic Evangelicaland and the Christophobic Emerald City. "Coming out" as gay to evangelical family and friends and "coming out" as evangelical to gay friends is fraught with isolating and alienating misunderstanding and hostility. To "come out" as "the other" in either venue is very likely to evoke: "Get out!"
I’d like us to get out of the tired lesbigayt rhetoric on "coming out" and get into coming out ahead. Coming out ahead is our daily Christian calling – no matter what may be our sexual identity.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Oh Yeah.... God loves us... it's important !
For many people who have struggeled to come to terms with their sexuality,there can be many issues around self esteem.
Some folks are conscious of having lived or still living with at least this one area of their sexuality lived firmly in the shadows, afraid to be known. For others coming out has not been easy, and doesn't always reflect the social success story which others have trumpeted.Still others are happy enough with no great problem about saying they are gay. Yet here too some come to realise that this alone is not the source of fulfillment in their lives.
Well get this, at the heart of the Christian Gospel is an incredible love that embraces every part of us. Whether we feel we must live in the shadows, or come out multi-colour, we are known and loved for who we truly are. I don't know if you read the bible.
It's worth doing, and the psalms are written by people who were dead honest about how they felt, or what they understood about God, and his relation to us. Like in Psalm 139, we are reminded that God knew us from before we were born, and he Knows us and loves us still, come what may.
I was listening to a great song on an album called AWAKENING. It's by a crowd call Passion who run conferences in the States. Well this song was written by John Mark McMillan, and sung by the David Crowder band. Here are the words,( at times they might seem a bit religious if your not used to them, but I think they still ring true), take a moment to let them sink in they are about God and his love for us, and ....I believe so true.
He is jealous for me.Loves like a hurricane. I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
And all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.
And I realise just how beautiful you are And how great your affections are for me.
Oh How He loves us, Oh How he loves us
And we are His portion and and we are His prize. Drawn to redemption by the Grace in His eyes.
If His Grace is an ocean we're all sinking. And heaven meets earth like an unseen kiss.
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets, when I think about the way that
He loves us, Oh how he loves us.
Some folks are conscious of having lived or still living with at least this one area of their sexuality lived firmly in the shadows, afraid to be known. For others coming out has not been easy, and doesn't always reflect the social success story which others have trumpeted.Still others are happy enough with no great problem about saying they are gay. Yet here too some come to realise that this alone is not the source of fulfillment in their lives.
Well get this, at the heart of the Christian Gospel is an incredible love that embraces every part of us. Whether we feel we must live in the shadows, or come out multi-colour, we are known and loved for who we truly are. I don't know if you read the bible.
It's worth doing, and the psalms are written by people who were dead honest about how they felt, or what they understood about God, and his relation to us. Like in Psalm 139, we are reminded that God knew us from before we were born, and he Knows us and loves us still, come what may.
I was listening to a great song on an album called AWAKENING. It's by a crowd call Passion who run conferences in the States. Well this song was written by John Mark McMillan, and sung by the David Crowder band. Here are the words,( at times they might seem a bit religious if your not used to them, but I think they still ring true), take a moment to let them sink in they are about God and his love for us, and ....I believe so true.
He is jealous for me.Loves like a hurricane. I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
And all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.
And I realise just how beautiful you are And how great your affections are for me.
Oh How He loves us, Oh How he loves us
And we are His portion and and we are His prize. Drawn to redemption by the Grace in His eyes.
If His Grace is an ocean we're all sinking. And heaven meets earth like an unseen kiss.
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets, when I think about the way that
He loves us, Oh how he loves us.
Friday, July 16, 2010
God does Love us as we are
You may have heard the well meaning phrase, "God loves you as you are, but loves you too much too leave you as you are"
There is of course truth in this. God is in the business of transforming us. The picture of being changed from an earth bound caterpillar into a beautiful, free to fly butterfly is very apt for the transformation process. We all know there are areas of our lives which need to be changed. Certainly if we are alive at all, we know that we want to be someone whom others love to be with, we don't want to be some pain in the neck. We know also that issues of selfishness, pride, arrogance can keep us from developing and living in healthy communities for which were were made.
He doesn't bring about this transformation through a list of does and don'ts, must and oughts. As we get to know him it is his love which leads us to turn in a different direction, to want to change as his Holy Spirit enables us. I heard someone say recently, guilt, fear, anxiety and shame, do not bring healing or life to anyone. That's why at the heart of the Good News, is God's deep love, mercy, grace, and longing for us to come back home to him.
Returning to our first phrase. I believe that it makes sense if all the above is understood. All of us need to be transformed to be fully human and fully alive.
However this phrase also becomes negative, and condescending when used against gay people. The assumption is, if you are gay or consider yourself homosexual, then God can't leave you like that! The reality is he does! And there are many out there who are gay,AND find themselves being transformed into his likeness.Gay and Christian do not have to be opposites. Our fundamental identity is to be a child of God.
If you are struggling with shame, because of what others have said or spoken over you, take time to hear how God sees you. You were made in his image, you are loved and accepted as you are, in all your selfishness and shadows. Receive that, and rest there for a while.
There is of course truth in this. God is in the business of transforming us. The picture of being changed from an earth bound caterpillar into a beautiful, free to fly butterfly is very apt for the transformation process. We all know there are areas of our lives which need to be changed. Certainly if we are alive at all, we know that we want to be someone whom others love to be with, we don't want to be some pain in the neck. We know also that issues of selfishness, pride, arrogance can keep us from developing and living in healthy communities for which were were made.
He doesn't bring about this transformation through a list of does and don'ts, must and oughts. As we get to know him it is his love which leads us to turn in a different direction, to want to change as his Holy Spirit enables us. I heard someone say recently, guilt, fear, anxiety and shame, do not bring healing or life to anyone. That's why at the heart of the Good News, is God's deep love, mercy, grace, and longing for us to come back home to him.
Returning to our first phrase. I believe that it makes sense if all the above is understood. All of us need to be transformed to be fully human and fully alive.
However this phrase also becomes negative, and condescending when used against gay people. The assumption is, if you are gay or consider yourself homosexual, then God can't leave you like that! The reality is he does! And there are many out there who are gay,AND find themselves being transformed into his likeness.Gay and Christian do not have to be opposites. Our fundamental identity is to be a child of God.
If you are struggling with shame, because of what others have said or spoken over you, take time to hear how God sees you. You were made in his image, you are loved and accepted as you are, in all your selfishness and shadows. Receive that, and rest there for a while.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Living on the outside
Gestation periods are often longer than we think. When the Berlin wall came down it appeared that Communism had fallen suddenly, however the winds of change had been blowing for a long time.
For many people in their ordinary individual lives, change also takes time- sometimes a long time.
For many Christian people,in relation to their sexuality, there can be many years of denial, shame and anxiety, before there is an admission that maybe its o.k to be gay- or however you finally refer to yourself.
For me, amongst other things there was a fear of facing up to my sexuality, and of being put on the outside of a Church and away from friends which I held so dear. In the end , my fear and denial meant I made wrong choices which put me on the outside anyway.
The thing is, my main identity is as a child of God. I know that Jesus loves me and gave himself for me. That's the grounding of my life, in the Grace of God.
How good it is then to know that Jesus was put outside the camp,(Hebrews).... he died an outsider, or so they thought! Even the great Church leader Paul, spent so much of his time, in prison and without the friends he really cherished, some of whom left him. Not everyone was fine about Paul in the beginning. Read Philippians eg
Maybe there are times to live on the outside, and in vulnerability and uncertainty, learn to trust in the one who holds us in the palm of his hand.
For many people in their ordinary individual lives, change also takes time- sometimes a long time.
For many Christian people,in relation to their sexuality, there can be many years of denial, shame and anxiety, before there is an admission that maybe its o.k to be gay- or however you finally refer to yourself.
For me, amongst other things there was a fear of facing up to my sexuality, and of being put on the outside of a Church and away from friends which I held so dear. In the end , my fear and denial meant I made wrong choices which put me on the outside anyway.
The thing is, my main identity is as a child of God. I know that Jesus loves me and gave himself for me. That's the grounding of my life, in the Grace of God.
How good it is then to know that Jesus was put outside the camp,(Hebrews).... he died an outsider, or so they thought! Even the great Church leader Paul, spent so much of his time, in prison and without the friends he really cherished, some of whom left him. Not everyone was fine about Paul in the beginning. Read Philippians eg
Maybe there are times to live on the outside, and in vulnerability and uncertainty, learn to trust in the one who holds us in the palm of his hand.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
A start
It has been encouraging to see so many people view the courage website.
For those who come from Christian backgrounds where homosexual orientation is a big No No, or for those who have come out as gay, but still want to be a follower of Jesus,(who else makes sense of life), or who are struggling privately and who view life through a negative, fearful, shame based lense.Yet believe that God's love casts out fear.
This blog is for you !
Lets start with acknowledging that Ireland is a village. It is hard to be real, and to swim against the tide in what is really a big village!
Some times we are not sure if we want to stand out, maybe there is too much at stake, the cost is too great, and maybe we are not sure of where we are at anyway.
Sometimes we would love to tell our story, just to say who we are, with all that is inglorious,and maybe confused, as well as the joy and hope that is in us. To be heard with grace, love and acceptance.
Well if it helps to do that, you could e-mail www.courage.ie
But a good place to start is to acknowledge, that whatever my sexuality, I can know myself loved by God. I am a person, made in his image. I am someone for whom Jesus Christ died, he sees me as someone special. All of that is true, whether I am gay or straight. I am loved, and it matters that I choose to continue to be a follower of the one who gives LIFE. That's a good start !
For those who come from Christian backgrounds where homosexual orientation is a big No No, or for those who have come out as gay, but still want to be a follower of Jesus,(who else makes sense of life), or who are struggling privately and who view life through a negative, fearful, shame based lense.Yet believe that God's love casts out fear.
This blog is for you !
Lets start with acknowledging that Ireland is a village. It is hard to be real, and to swim against the tide in what is really a big village!
Some times we are not sure if we want to stand out, maybe there is too much at stake, the cost is too great, and maybe we are not sure of where we are at anyway.
Sometimes we would love to tell our story, just to say who we are, with all that is inglorious,and maybe confused, as well as the joy and hope that is in us. To be heard with grace, love and acceptance.
Well if it helps to do that, you could e-mail www.courage.ie
But a good place to start is to acknowledge, that whatever my sexuality, I can know myself loved by God. I am a person, made in his image. I am someone for whom Jesus Christ died, he sees me as someone special. All of that is true, whether I am gay or straight. I am loved, and it matters that I choose to continue to be a follower of the one who gives LIFE. That's a good start !
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